Liz Lemon: Tracy took advantage of my white guilt, which is to be used only for good like overtipping and supporting Barack Obama.

Tracy Jordan: I can’t read, Liz Lemon. My shameful secret is out! Now you know why I’m always running into the ladies bathroom. I can’t read! I sign my name with an X! I once tried to make mashed potatoes with laundry detergent! I think I voted for Nader! NADER!

Liz Lemon: Okay, here’s your pep talk. You’re not an actor. You’re Jack Donaghy, all right? So quit whining, and NUT UP. You’re right. If you can’t do this, you ARE a failure. Josh can do this, and earlier today he ate a club sandwich with the toothpick still in it. Jenna can do this, and she was once engaged to David Blaine. Any dumb-dumb can act, Jack. So be a man and get it done.
Jack: If you were any other woman on earth, I would be turned on right now.

Jenna Maroney: I am gonna get back at them…using my sexuality.
Liz Lemon: Do you have any left?

Jenna Maroney: Yeah, but this is different because I know Jack Donaghy. I know what he likes.
Liz Lemon: Yeah. So now you just have to make yourself 10 years younger and Asian.

This article was posted on Saturday, May 26th, 2007 at 12:14 pm by Burr and is filed under the category Quotes. You can follow any responses to this article through the RSS 2.0 feed.