Liz: I’m going to go talk to some food about this.

Jenna: I’m so glad you asked! Kabbalah is a wonderful religion that mixes the fun part of Judaism with magic.
Tracy: So where do you worship?
Jenna: Where don’t you worship? My friend, Madonna…

Liz: (referring to making out in public) It’s only inappropriate when it’s ugly people.

Cerie: Hey Liz, you want to hang out tonight? ‘Cause you’re totally my role model. You make smart sexy.

Jack: I haven’t seen Eddie since I bailed him out of Disney jail.

Liz: I’ve never fired anybody in my life.
Jack: It’s an acquired skill. I’m not trying to make your life miserable, but this is coming from the top. Now, there are a hundred and forty people on the show, so go out and make hundred and twenty six people very happy.

Tracy: What’s your religion, Liz Lemon?
Liz: I pretty much just do what Oprah tells me.

Jack: Lemon, you’ve gone chicken killer on me over a guy whose name you don’t know? And you still think our next president should be a woman?

Eddie: I got a real job now. I talk homeless people into joining the army.

Eddie: I bet Pop’s looking down right now and saying, “If I could come back and do any broad, it would be that one right there.”
Liz: Haha. Ewwwww.

Tracy: What kind of Presbyterian is this?
Kenneth: No, we’re the Eighth Day Resurrected Covenant of the Holy Trinity. We haven’t been Presbyterian for months.

Eddie: I’m looking for Jack Donahey.
Liz: And…you are?
Eddie: Eddie Donahey, Jack’s brother.
Liz: Really? Because Jack never mentioned a brother, and his name is Donaghy, not Donahey.
Eddie: You know, you could be pretty if you didn’t scowl so much.
Liz: Tracy - this is Jack’s brother Eddie.

Tracy: Hey Liz Lemon. Do you know where I can find a good church?
Liz: How good? Like Judaism good? Or just, like, Unitarian?

Jenna: What class do you want to take?
Liz: Uh, anything that doesn’t have the words “strip”, “salsa”, or “beatz” with a “z” in the name of it.
Jenna: Cardio Hiphop Groove it is then.

Liz: I’m not gonna just do anything. I have a plan. Step one - befriend the enemy and gather information. Then, use the information to drive her into the bottom 10%.
Pete: Good lord! Your eyes! You look like that lady astronaut who tried to kidnap that other woman.
Liz: Hey, that was a lady with a plan. Diapers. Mace. Houston to Orlando in 9 hours. Blamo!

Tracy: See, I can screw up now, and then just go to confession. No longer do I have to throw my parties in international waters.
Jack: It seem that things are lining up again for old Liz Lemon. And you say?
Liz: Thank you, Jack.

Liz: As always, it’s been a pleasure fighting with you.

Eddie: Say hello to Bono and Sandra Day O’Connor.
Jack: Those are the stupidest first names I’ve ever heard.

This article was posted on Monday, September 3rd, 2007 at 12:01 pm and is filed under the category Quotes. You can follow any responses to this article through the RSS 2.0 feed.