Happy New Year, 30 Rock fans! Following a brief hiatus, both “30 Rock” and 30RockOnline.com are back in full swing. Quick recap: in the last episode, Liz got into the holiday spirit by donating gifts to children in need; Jack took in his injured mother after nearly running her over; and the Girlie Show staff had two days to produce a Christmas special. In the Jan. 8 episode “Senor Macho Solo,” both Liz and Jack usher in the New Year with the hope that they will find their soul mates. The show opens with Jenna telling Liz that she is auditioning for the latest Sheinhardt film production of the Janis Joplin biopic. But Liz is distracted by the ticking of her biological clock — and a cute baby.

Liz: “Hi Max, is this your baby sister? Oh, what a cute little girl — or boy, if you grow up and feel that that’s what’s inside you.”

Liz’s desire to have a baby reaches a new low. She’s got a purse full of stolen baby shoes (“It isn’t stealing if it fell on the ground”), and everywhere she goes, she sees only babies and little kids. Outside 30 Rock, she affectionately ruffles the hair of a young boy — who turns out to be a little person, portrayed by guest star Peter Dinklage. Meanwhile, Jack has hired a nurse to care for his mother. As he gives Elisa (guest star Salma Hayek) a tour of his home, he explains: “I think being my mother’s nurse is a mixed bag. When she’s in a foul mood, she can be horribly unpleasant. But there are times…when she’s asleep.” At the office, Jack tries to get to the bottom of Tracy’s sudden spending spree. Tracy is wearing a shirt covered with mille-feuille-like layers of dollar bills and solid gold shoes.

Jack: “I think your spending has gotten out of control.”

Tracy: “Give me an example.”

Jack: “You bought three hours of network primetime for a salute to Benny Hill.” (Cut to the mock-Benny Hill videotape with Tracy and cast in fast motion.)

It seems that Tracy fears becoming bankrupt by his wife, Angie, if they split up. So, Jack offers to step in and negotiate a post-nup agreement. In the best performance of the episode, Jenna storms Jack’s office in character as Janis Joplin. She’s got it all down: the hair, the frantic movements, the voice and the unintentional, seemingly drug-induced circular dialogue. Jack is easily convinced, but there’s a problem. The network doesn’t yet have the rights to the story or the music. No problem, Jack is on it.

Jack: “Ongoing train wreck aside, I love this idea. It is great synergy. By putting a TV actress into the movie role, they can promote both. It’s like how we’re putting a ‘Heroes’ DVD with every missile guidance system we sell.”

Meanwhile, Liz’s accidental come-on to the little person leads to a date over coffee. They later make plans to have dinner and, with the snap of his fingers, a black sedan pulls up and takes him back to his office. In a subsequent scene we learn that her new man is Stuart LaGrange, U.N. High Commission on Water Temperature and Food Taint.
Back at Jack’s apartment, Nurse Elisa begins to cast a spell over Jack as he discovers her ability to control his mother.

Jack: “It’s seven o’clock, why don’t I hear my mother yelling ‘Go home’ to the Asian contestant on Jeopardy?”

Elisa: “She’s asleep.”

Jack: “Really? How did you do that?”

Elisa: “She fought me at first, but I find that authoritative rapid Spanish subdues white people.”

Things turn bad quickly for Liz as Stuart discovers the real reason for her attraction to him.

Stuart: “When you first met me, did you think I was a child?”

Liz: “Yes, I did, sir.”

Stuart: “Unbelievable. I knew I should have listened to my friends. Kofi said you were too good to be true. (Clucking sound) told me to wait three days before I called you.”

My favorite line of the episode:

Jack (on a date with the blonde Fox News correspondent): “The lady will be having the tasting menu but with some substitutions. Without, um, any of it, she’ll have a cup of hot water with a chicken bone in it, and bowl of salted ice cubes.”

Jack and Elisa are still unaware of their mutual attraction, but their relationship enters a new phase of closeness after Jack discovers a growth on his privates and Elisa offers to give him a hand job, of sorts. It turns out that his suspicions were correct — there is a lump there and Elisa advises him to have it checked by a doctor (good advice to all of you male readers out there).  Elisa’s sincere concern about his healthcare crisis stirs feelings in Jack, and he becomes flustered. Jack decides to attend a christening party hosted by Elisa’s family in Prospect Park (my hood, y’all), and we get to see Elisa and her two best friends in as much glory as the network censors will allow.

Seriously, folks, couldn’t the 30 Rock wardrobe people have picked an outfit that was a little more demure? I couldn’t take my eyes off of Salma Hayek’s killer rack. It was so distracting. For about half a second I thought about switching teams. Anyway, Jack gets into the family festivities and tells Elisa that he’s waiting for the biopsy results.

Back at 30 Rock, Liz seeks Jack’s advice about Stuart and her scheme to rehabilitate their romance by meeting on the Brooklyn Bridge, like Miranda and Steve from “Sex and the City.” But Jack is on another planet. The Planet of Love. You see, he’s fallen for Elisa and decides that whatever happens, even if the thing on his testicle gets bad, he will be okay because he won’t be alone. Thankfully, there’s good news and Tracy answers the phone when the doctor calls. “The results are positive!” On that note, Jack becomes contemplative: “I mean, can two people fall in love over a benign gonad cyst?”

The episode ends with Liz and Stuart’s fateful meeting on the Brooklyn Bridge (“Shut it down!”) and Jack and Elisa in a lustful embrace.

In the third season, practically every episode of “30 Rock” has featured a super-star guest appearance. While it’s great to see the likes of Oprah, Steve Martin and Jennifer Aniston in these memorable comedic roles, the guest appearances take away from scenes with the regulars. I miss Hornberger, Toofer and Frank, and would like to see a return to the regular cast.

I may get my wish next week, with the “Flu Shot” episode (Jan. 15). Here is a summary from the NBC Universal press release: LIZ LEMON (TINA FEY) FIGHTS FOR THE STAFF’S RIGHT TO FLU SHOTS WHILE JACK DONAGHY (ALEC BALDWIN) LOOKS FOR CREATIVE WAYS TO SPEND TIME WITH ELISA (GUEST STAR SALMA HAYEK). CHRIS PARNELL GUEST STARS Liz (Fey) tries desperately not to catch the flu, but it’s spreading amongst the “TGS” cast and crew quickly; and Jack (Baldwin) is being selective over who receives vaccinations from Dr. Spaceman (guest star Chris Parnell). One is offered to Liz, but she refuses to take it, championing for the rights of the crew. Meanwhile, Elisa (guest star Hayek) is working seven days a week, so Jack must be creative about finding ways to spend time with her. Also stars Tracy Morgan, Jane Krakowski, Jack McBrayer, Katrina Bowden and Scott Adsit.

This article was posted on Friday, January 9th, 2009 at 11:49 am by Sakura and is filed under the category Episodes, News. You can follow any responses to this article through the RSS 2.0 feed.