• Jack’s assistant Jonathan is back! #
• It’s the biggest regret of my life, and I once slept with Kathy Hilton. #
• Dear racist Liz Lemon, this is how you treat me. #
• (About the pet gibbon) I’m gonna name him Little Jenna and let him live in my dressing room. #
• No, he’s happy. His costume is hiding his erection. #
• Let’s go see some naked mothers and daughters! #
• Liz: Okay, which one of us is gonna give up first? Tracy: The black one! #
• Jack: Jimmy Donaghy is not my real father. Liz: (gasp) Twist! #

• @t3naciously That was hillarious! But it make it in at #11. in reply to t3naciously #
• @TCFan1 I had to ask someone what ROTFLMAO stood for. I guess I need the “30 Rock” slang dictionary. in reply to TCFan1 #
• Coming up on tomorrow’s episode, “The Natural Order”: Tracy decides to start acting like a professional. #
• Also, Jack’s mother reveals unpleasant memories about Jack’s father, and Jenna gets a pet gibbon. #

• Okay, fans! Here’s a top 10 list of my personal favorite lines from last week’s “The Ones” (full list of quotes at http://www.30rockonline.com) #
• 10. Jack: “Oh my God, I already put my wedding announcement in Cigar Aficionado.” #
• 9. Tracy: “You’re gonna be tempted like Jesus in the wilderness. Jesus is my stereo guy and Wilderness is the club I took him to once.” #
• 8. Elisa: “Really? That’s your guess? A man? Do you want to see me naked?” Liz: “Sort of.” #
• 7. Jack: “Tracy, I need your help. My fiancée murdered her ex-husband when he cheated on her.” Tracy: “Continue.” #
• 6. Jack: “I’m 50. To put it into perspective, that’s like 32, for ladies.” #
• 5. Tracy: “You are very wise, Liz Lemon. Like a genetically-manipulated shark.” #
• 4. Jenna: “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy she poisoned, so this other boy would go to town on her.” #
• 3. Brian Williams: “Hello, no, this is not Tracy Jordan. Really? I’ve not heard of that term before. Do you know how to get to Connecticut?” #
• 2. Kenneth: “My real name is Dick Whitman!” #
• And, my favorite line from last week’s “30 Rock”… #
• 1. Elisa: “Lemon, isn’t there a slanket somewhere here you should be filling with your farts?” #

• @LeoJ1984 We’re a fan blog (www.30RockOnline.com) and Twitter account. in reply to LeoJ1984 #
• @rasjadisme It will take us longer than it took @aplusk. in reply to rasjadisme #
• Watching “The Italian Job” and Hornberger is the guy rehearsing a scene in his car holding up traffic. “Turn in your badge and your weapon.” #

Sorry for the delay, “30 Rock” fans! Here’s the summary of “The Ones.” This week’s synopsis took a little bit of time because I practically had to transcribe the entire show, it was so funny.

Love is in the air at “TGS” and Elisa is back! While Salma Hayek was busy celebrating her real-life wedding in Italy, her “30 Rock” alter ego was hiding from “El Uno” and his proposings of marriage because of a terrible secret. It turns out that she killed her ex-husband in a moment of passion. This raises a red flag for Jack, and he seeks Tracy’s counsel. His advice? Test the club waters and be tempted like Jesus in the wilderness. If Jack can pass that test, he can commit to Elisa without fear of her reprisal.

Tracy is also thinking about his special lady. The 20^th anniversary of the Jordans’ first meeting is coming up, and he’s enlisted the help of Dot Com and some other members of the crew to think of an appropriate gift for Angie. So far, his ideas include a denim jacket that says “Hot Bitch” in diamonds on the back, or a slanket (also know as the Snuggie – www.getsnuggie.com). It turns out that Angie wants a tattoo of her portrait etched on Tracy’s chest. What? Sounds crazy, and Tracy agrees. After all, he can’t go to the clubs and do his signature move on the ladies (taking off his shirt). He goes to Liz for help in making this Sophie’s choice. Liz isn’t much help, so he and Jack confer at the office and later at a club. Surrounded by tempting ladies with deep cleavage, both realize the right course of action: Jack can be faithful because even someone as ridiculous and unstable as Tracy can do it for 20 years; and for Tracy, no one makes him happier than his wife.

(more…)

• Thanks, 30 Rock fans, for helping us reach 2,000+ followers! #
• Updates on the 5/14 season finale and upcoming shows! http://tinyurl.com/denz8n Thanks to @moryan #
• TMZ.com has some funny video of a shaggy Judah Friedlander: http://tinyurl.com/cvmlgt #
• She’s very spirited…like a show horse. #
• The only reason I’m allergic to dogs is because one bit me the first time I got my period. #
• This present has to be special. It’s either going to be a denim jacket that says ‘hot bitch’ in diamonds, or a slanket. #
• Puerto Rican! #
• My real name is Dick Whitman! #
• @LeoJ1984 We’re just big fans of the show. in reply to LeoJ1984 #
• It’s not product placement, I just like it! #
• Face it, you are the closest thing to a man working here right now. #
• I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy she poisoned so this other boy would go to town on her. #
• Lemon, isn’t there a slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts? #
• @DianeFerraro We’ll have a full recap on the site soon — http://www.30rockonline.com in reply to DianeFerraro #

• It feels a little nosy, but if you’re curious, read about Tina Fey’s new NYC apartment: http://tinyurl.com/c5hasr #
• @toddzuniga Super cool! Thanks! in reply to toddzuniga #
• People: Tina Fey celebrates her agent’s birthday http://tinyurl.com/d4ky9k #
• Coming up on tomorrow’s “30 Rock,” called “The Ones”: Jack and Elisa consider getting married! #
• Also, Liz finds out that Elisa is keeping a secret, and Jenna falls for an attractive EMT. #

• The odd jobs that Tina Fey and other celebs did before they became stars: http://tinyurl.com/c9hrsx #

• Entertainment Weekly’s favorite moments from last week’s 30 Rock: http://tinyurl.com/clkw35 #

• @TCFan1 Unfortunately we have no control over such things – we’re just fans of the show, like you. But, I can’t imagine any Canadian bias in reply to TCFan1 #
• Some more great lines from last night’s episode, like: “Why don’t you drop those Dockers and give me a taste of that sweet ass?” #
• Jenna: “I can play dead. I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.” #
• Jack: “You being dead is the best thing that ever happened to this movie. Jenna, I wanna Tupac you.” #
• Kenneth: “I don’t know if this is harassment, but someone at the “Today Show” made me eat an unripened banana in front of her.” #
• Liz: “Right now I should be standing in a toilet stall so no one bothers me while I eat lunch.” #
• Jenna: “Do you need a sex tape released? Because I’ve got a weird one. It’s night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me.” #
• Jack: “Lemon, you know you’re supposed to go home after your pervert seminars.” #
• Liz: “Eating well, working out, sleeping. Boy, is anyone else BM-ing like a rock star?” #
• Tracy: “I’m gonna take a nap. See you in 10 hours.” #
• @brianheff77 Loved that line! in reply to brianheff77 #
• “I used to be a neurosurgeon before Jasmine Guy and I wrote our cookbook, and the human brain needs stimulation or it atrophies.” #
• Liz: “I’m back, nerds!” #
• My muffin top is all that. Whole grain, low fat. I know you want a piece of that. But I just wanna dance! #
• Liz: “I have enough money saved for two years, maybe four if I give up cable.” #
• @QueenOfAcerbia Ha ha! I want to download the song onto my iPod. in reply to QueenOfAcerbia #
• @orbitaldesign We’ll try to do that for you every Friday. It makes Friday fun! in reply to orbitaldesign #
• @stretchmarkmama Thanks so much! in reply to stretchmarkmama #
• @TCFan1 We’re just a fan blog/Twitter feed. Sorry. in reply to TCFan1 #
• @fooshnickens I was trying to figure out what Tracy was saying. That is a hilarious line. Thanks! in reply to fooshnickens #
• @batpoet Totally agree with you. The first few eps were slow. Remember the pilot, with Liz buying all the hot dogs? That was s-l-o-w. in reply to batpoet #
• Hey everyone, come by the site, and let’s talk about “Jackie Jormp-Jomp”! http://tinyurl.com/ctrupz #
• @BallroomPink What are you referring to? in reply to BallroomPink #
• @OutreMind That’s smart budgeting during these tough economic times. in reply to OutreMind #
• @lesliespears Thanks so much! in reply to lesliespears #
• @hbkhumanity Appreciate it! Thanks so much! in reply to hbkhumanity #
• @SherriEShepherd Hey Sherri! Will you be back as Tracy’s wife on “30 Rock” any time soon? #
• @SherriEShepherd We loved you in the Valentine’s Day episode! #