There’s no better way to end a fantastic season of “30 Rock” than with a superstar musical extravaganza.  We’re not talking last week’s “Mamma Mia.” Yes, it was truly one of those episodes that a fan blog synopsis could never do justice.

Things start off with Jack finding himself in a dilemma. He may be a kidney match for his new father, Prof. Milton Greene, but the last thing he wants to do is give up a body part. And since we no longer live in an era when Mayor Giuliani permits the harvesting of organs from hobos, he has no option but to get himself tested by Dr. Leo Spaceman.

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Just as he was coming to terms with the realization that the identity of his real father would remain a mystery, Jack is convinced by Liz and her Sims family example that he should go on a search for his dad. Even Tracy agrees. His very own love child tracked him down and after feeling shocked, scared and angry — like a dog in a sidecar when it comes loose from the motorcycle — he discovers one of the greatest joys of his life.

So, Jack, now convinced, embarks on what becomes the basis of a “Mamma Mia”-like scenario. Len, the private detective, digs up the names of three people who could be Jack’s father, and  Liz cleverly conceives of a plan to get the three gentlemen to TGS. As the winners of a TGS contest, “my three dads” are flown in to New York to meet with Jack. They are: George Park, a Korean man; Fred O’Dwyer, whose nuts look like a bowl of Spaghetti O’s; and Professor Milton Greene, a liberal-leaning Bennington College professor. Um, Jack?

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With Elisa now gone, the other woman in Jack’s life has returned: Mother Donaghy (played brilliantly by Elaine Stritch). She’s flown in from Florida during the week that coincides with the 35th anniversary of Jack’s father, Jimmy Donaghy, abandoning the family. It’s a difficult time for Colleen, and the memory reignites Jack’s one lifelong regret — that he never had a chance to tell off his father for leaving them.

Liz kindly offers to help, but she’s got her own handful to deal with, in the form of Tracy. He’s late again to another rehearsal and has sent a gibbon (an adorable mini-ape like creature) in his place. Everyone’s had enough of his selfish behavior, and after giving him a verbal beatdown Tracy plays the race card, literally, and announces that going forward he will behave like a professional. But will he, really? Or are his mind grapes full of pranks that will only make racist Liz Lemon look foolish? Tracy and Liz are now on to each other’s schemes, and they spend the next few days trying to out-do the other. Liz gets soaked switching out the water cooler and Tracy gets stuck doing rewrites instead of attending Lutz’s fake bachelor party.

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Sorry for the delay, “30 Rock” fans! Here’s the summary of “The Ones.” This week’s synopsis took a little bit of time because I practically had to transcribe the entire show, it was so funny.

Love is in the air at “TGS” and Elisa is back! While Salma Hayek was busy celebrating her real-life wedding in Italy, her “30 Rock” alter ego was hiding from “El Uno” and his proposings of marriage because of a terrible secret. It turns out that she killed her ex-husband in a moment of passion. This raises a red flag for Jack, and he seeks Tracy’s counsel. His advice? Test the club waters and be tempted like Jesus in the wilderness. If Jack can pass that test, he can commit to Elisa without fear of her reprisal.

Tracy is also thinking about his special lady. The 20^th anniversary of the Jordans’ first meeting is coming up, and he’s enlisted the help of Dot Com and some other members of the crew to think of an appropriate gift for Angie. So far, his ideas include a denim jacket that says “Hot Bitch” in diamonds on the back, or a slanket (also know as the Snuggie – www.getsnuggie.com). It turns out that Angie wants a tattoo of her portrait etched on Tracy’s chest. What? Sounds crazy, and Tracy agrees. After all, he can’t go to the clubs and do his signature move on the ladies (taking off his shirt). He goes to Liz for help in making this Sophie’s choice. Liz isn’t much help, so he and Jack confer at the office and later at a club. Surrounded by tempting ladies with deep cleavage, both realize the right course of action: Jack can be faithful because even someone as ridiculous and unstable as Tracy can do it for 20 years; and for Tracy, no one makes him happier than his wife.

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After receiving a two-week suspension from work for sexual harassment, Liz is forced to attend “pervert seminars,” and then must return immediately to her apartment. But she has trouble staying away from the office. She bumps into Jack, who sympathizes with her:

Jack: “I feel for you. Remember that time when I came back from the World Economic Forum with mono, I missed a week of work and I wanted to pull my hair out but I couldn’t because it was too thick? People like us, we need the stress. We’re only happy when we’re overcoming obstacles.”

At home, Liz passes the time by boring the doormen with her stories. She meets one of her neighbors in the lobby who introduces her to a coterie of women who spend the day lounging around drinking Champagne, shopping at Barney’s and going to the dermatologist for Botox tune-ups. Liz resists the ladies-who-lunch lifestyle at first, but then she gets sucked into the whirlwind of mani-pedis, massages, sushi lunches and shopping sprees. Back at the HR rep’s office when her two weeks are up, Liz makes a difficult choice between going back to stress-filled work, or six more weeks of paid suspension. It’s an easy call: oh ladies, she’s back!

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Just as the “TGS” crew celebrates its 50th episode, Jack shares some bad news: the  parent company Sheinhardt Wigs is announcing losses for the first time in its history since the Civil War, and that means everyone’s got to face cutbacks. One of the first victims: Jack’s assistant, Jonathan.

The Entertainment Division will come under particular scrutiny. A consultant has been hired to “trim the fat,” and Liz will have to present and justify her budget to him. Can Liz live up the to task? Not to worry. Sure enough, she’s got some Trix up her sleeve.

Like her “outside of the box thinking.” When the consultant Brad Halster arrives (played by Roger Bart), Liz goes into full-on Steve Jobs mode, in black turtleneck, New Balance sneakers and MacWorld Conference-style PowerPoint. It’s sleek, colorful and has impact. Are you getting it? Yeah.

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Chapter 1: Throwing Up Means I’m Happy

Jack’s 50th birthday is approaching and to celebrate, he’s hosting a big party for himself. He’s also waxing nostalgic by going through a box of childhood mementos that Mother Donaghy mailed to New York so she could make room for her new boyfriend’s golf clubs. Among the keepsakes is 10-year old Jack’s list of things he hopes to accomplish before he turns 50:

• Go to Disneyland
• Ride in an airplane
• Kiss Peggy Flemming
• Live in a house with stairs
• Beat up a Russian
• Hit mom with a car
• Be friends with Batman

The day of Jack’s party arrives, and Kenneth arrives with a bounty of gifts from business associates. In his own sweet and simple way, Kenneth inadvertently draws Jack’s attention to the emptiness in his life – the friendships, his big apartment – and triggers deep-seated feelings of sadness. Later, after Adam West screws up his big introduction, Jack sends everyone home and he sits alone, watching the home video of his 10th birthday. Liz shows up late, just in time to console Jack, as he wonders aloud, “I have a good life, but I’ll never be happy again.”

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Everyone, gather around please. Actor announcement! This week’s show is chock-full of LOL moments and featured some of the best lines so far this season. In preparing this week’s summary, I found myself practically transcribing the show; every line was the height of just too muchery.

In this week’s episode, Liz tries to show Drew what life is like for “moderately pleasant looking people” after discovering that he gets special treatment because of his good looks. Jenna, desperate for the public’s attention, decides to cut her hair for charity. And Jack enlists the help of a cast of characters after accidentally screwing up his contract negotiations with Tracy.

Let’s begin with the opening sequence.

Liz: “Kenneth, I’m gonna duck uptown and have lunch with my boyfriend.”

Kenneth: “Yes, ma’am. Is that code for some kind of older gal medical procedure?”

Liz: “No, Kenneth, I really have a boyfriend. (Showing Kenneth a photo of Drew on her iPhone) Look, he’s handsome and a doctor.”

Kenneth: “A doctor! Well, don’t get too attached. As soon as people realize his tonics don’t work, it’s on to the next town.”

(Tracy joins them.)

Tracy: “Hey, Ken, you know what I have a craving for?”

Kenneth: (Holding up a paper bag) “Jerk chicken from that place in Mill Basin?”

Tracy: “And some…?”

Kenneth: “Catalog photos of some expectant mothers in their swimming suits?”

Tracy: “You’re my Radar O’Reilly, Ken. Now get in here and rub my feet until you hear a chopper coming.”

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Liz doesn’t like jury duty. Last time, she got out of it by showing up at Chicago’s U.S. District Court in a Princess Leia costume. This time, she isn’t so lucky. Turns out that fulfilling your civic duty in a Star Wars-themed outfit doesn’t freak out New Yorkers the way it might the citizens of other major cities.

Liz’s jury duty duties comes at a really bad time. Jenna and Tracy are forced to repent after screwing up their co-hosting duties at the St. Patrick’s Day parade (after falling asleep and swearing, respectively), and Jack is worked-up about the naming of his latest GE invention: a personal mini-microwave.

But Liz has got to be downtown, so she makes the unfortunate decision of leaving no one in charge of TGS, which wreaks havoc at 30 Rock. First, Tracy decides that no one – not Jack Donaghy and especially not the F.C.C. – is going to punish him for what is his inalienable right to use swear words on primetime television! After all, he’s got all the cash in the world to pay those fines. Then Jenna joins Dr. Spaceman’s clinical trial testing a military-grade anti-sleeping pill. She becomes completely cracked out.

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Forgive me, “30 Rock” fans. I thought the highly anticipated March 5th episode of “30 Rock” seemed a little, well, derivative. Don’t get me wrong, the laughs were there, but couldn’t they have cast a teenager who didn’t look so much like Ellen Page in “Juno”? Just asking.

The episode was a study in classic mommy and daddy issues, with Liz, Jack and Frank exploring these parental yearnings to an extreme. For Liz, the adoption process has been frustrating so when she encounters a pregnant teen working behind the counter at the local donut store, she sees an opportunity. It turns out that Becca, the pregnant teen, is fighting with her boyfriend and she’s confused about what to do with the baby. Liz is intrigued. She befriends Becca over a chocolate frosted and skim milk and secretly begins moving in to adopt the baby.

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